Man, what a day!

Oh man, what a day! Everything started out cool- I had a killer little multimedia lecture about Periodic Table trends in Ionization Energy, Electronegativity and Ionic Radii all in the can on my little laptop... I was stoked about it. My students? Probably a little less thrilled- but what the heck, life ain't always  smoke, fire and explosions... right? Little did I know that the day would provide it's own surprise fireworks for me.

Three periods and six hours later, I was all lectured out. Talking that much will cook your brain- even if you do break it up with activities, jokes and weird life-stories that don't have much to do with the subject at hand. On the bright side, I did receive an email from Kelly over at Emerald City. Evidently, there was a giant cardboard box there waiting for me- it could only be one thing! My Hooked SUP demo board must have arrived from Seattle- yeah! Alex Aguera told me it was coming but I just could not believe how fast it got to me- those guys have got the shipping game WIRED!

A quick bike ride home and I was ready to zip up to Emerald City when my cell phone rang. Wait, what? We've got a lesson set for 3pm? Wait a minute- let me check my calender... no way! How could I have blown it like that- I've got you for 3:30pm on Monday. You're Sherri? Oh no, I've got two Sherris booked- I must have forgotten to put you down onto the calender when I saw the other Sherri- can you give me fifteen minutes? I was horrified.... I never blow it like that! I'm the guy who's NEVER late... gimme a sword to fall on- how embarrassing. 

Photo: My students, practicing the finer points of splashing each other- can you see how disappointed they are with me?

I had totally blown it and forgotten to log the day's lesson appointment onto my calender. What was going to be a super relaxing cruise up to the surf shop now turned into a mad scramble. I had to load three boards and paddles, bungee them down and get to the lesson beach all in fifteen minutes. Man, you've never seen these little legs move so fast!

Luckily, Sherri and Scott were awesome- obviously too happy, excited and fired up to paddle to let my tardiness ruin their day. And- these guys were naturals. Both hopped right up and started cruising around- a couple pointers about their strokes (end at the heels, crunch through the power phase) and we were off and cruising. The lesson turned out to be a winner and, once again, I am reminded about how cool stand up paddling people are in general. Thanks guys for being so positive! And, yes, I did come right home and carefully go through my whole calender to make sure I wouldn't make that kind of inexcusable mistake again.

But the fun didn't end there. As fast as I could, I stuffed all the boards into the back of the truck, pointed it north and hauled it up the highway to Emerald City. I really wanted to get that board and take a look at it. Shoot- I was itching to paddle the thing! I got to E.C. and found the board just where Kelly said it would be- now I just had to get that thing to my truck. I gave the carton a test-lift.... hmmm, this thing's not that heavy afterall. So I did what I do best and went full caveman-style. No finesse just brute force. Basically I just heaved the thing over my shoulder and trucked it right down the middle of the busy Orange Ave. sidewalk all the way to my truck.

Photo: My brief case is the eight foot bed of my four wheel drive truck... stuffed full of paddle gear.

As I was loading the carton into the back of my truck and stacking the stand up boards on top of it, I had a chance to reflect on what the last nine hours had held for me: Chemistry Lectures, beach cruisers, new boards, new friends, a mile and half stand up paddle in beautiful flat water and a whole lot of lifting, strapping and loading. All under a killer, blue, California summer sky. Man, what an awesome, crazy life I have- can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring (especially since it's my "surf day").

Want to know how it feels? Take an X-acto Knife and jam it into your foot...

Shuffle your feet. Even in six inches of water. Shuffle 'em. Today I got skewered by a stingray. Right through the bottom of my gnarled out, I-wear-flip-flops-everyday-so-my-feet-are-like-elephant-hide foot. My hard earned foot armor didn't even put up a fight and that hit ruined what would have been an awesome stand up paddle session (glassy warmish water and gawd-almighty... sunshine!) Here's a couple bits of info you'll want to know about getting hit by a stingray:

1. No, it's not a "sting" like a bee or a jelly fish. It's a puncture, like stepping on a nail, a big, nasty, sharp nail that puts a hole into you. In this case, it was a razor blade thin slit that went about a quarter inch into me- deep, blood-oozing, deep.


2. Yes, it's going to hurt like HELL. The lifeguards talk about grown men crying... I didn't shed any tears (I just have allergies, those aren't tears) but my foot was throbbing from the core and the pain was working it's way up into my ankle and calf.

 Photo: At least there's somebody around who feels my pain.

3. It starts with a bloody gash... the ridiculous pain comes about a little later. It's the poison that's got to work its way up into you... don't worry, it'll come. Count on it. 

4. No, peeing on it doesn't work. Hot, hot, hot water and bucket big enough to get your foot all the way into it will help- but not immediately. No, you'll be treated to a stupid amount of agony, totally disproportional to the size of the little bastard who stuck you.

5. Shuffle your feet, take your time and shuffle 'em.

This sucks.

Surf Check: Heat Wave.

We get heat waves here in Southern California. In San Diego, it's not so bad. We just open up all of the windows and doors, turn on the fans and move slow. If you reach the boiling point you pull the rip cord; grab the bike and bolt for the beach.

You want real summer heat? You look for that in August, on the floor of the San Fernando Valley, somewhere near Sutter and Winnetka. You'll find it. The Valley get's frickin' hot. Spend time in that devil's cauldron and you'll leave with your scrotum so sweaty and pliable that it'll span your thigh-gap like a diaphanous curtain of warm bubble gum. That's hot, sticky hot.

And if you find yourself stewing in that pit? There's nothing to do but head west. Run the canyons and blow out onto the Malibu coast. Take that instant temperature drop right in the face. Bring your board. You never know, you might get lucky and find yourself in the front row of a full on California summer classic: high pressure blue skies, south swell. Time it right and it'll be a weekday which means you're paddling out to Secos with just a couple of other guys in the water. There might even be a late summer south pushing some head high screamers across the Body rock and into the cove.

The heat's my compass. When it gets hot, I head for water- things tend to get much better from that point forward.

The Ultimate Stand Up Paddle Vehicle

Sprinter Van? Please- every lemming's got one. Turbo-diesel, 4x4 Sportmobile... gauche- and so 2002. Ferrari... are you serious?

Here's what I'd roll:



'76 Dodge Tradesman. Midnight black with electric blue pinstriping. Fender flares and mags.




Bubbled out tear drop window, custom roof rack, sunroof and best of all....




GET DOWN TONITE! Matching custom, one-off, airbrush on both sides with matching wheel cover spray (see first photo). Tell me there's an 8-track in that baby with a bed and shag carpet. And I bet there's even room in there for my 9'4". Other rides may have the flash but this cat's got SOUL... And what do you want to bet the owner's a goofy foot....yeah. GET DOWN TONITE!

The JWall Report: SUP-ROW!

Editors Note: I'm picking up contributors to the blog. This set of photos is the first in a series of now-and-then-posts from Jeff Wallis, we're calling it The JWall Report. If you're not familiar with JWall, he's the photog. who's been responsible for all the surf shots on BeachSURF (if you haven't clicked over, you should, lots of good stuff- some paddle surfing shots, some surfing lots of beach life mania). JWall's earned the right to be a contributor- here's his first post:

Ok this thread is titled SUP-ROW, Stand Up Paddler-Right Of Way! It seems that the stand up guys catch a bunch of flack on occassion for hogging waves and what not. So in their defense this 4 shot sequence (CLEARLY) shows that the SUP guy is already in the wave and surfing, while the Longboarder is trying to get into the wave and as a result causes the ENDO! I rest my case cuz the pics tell the entire story!

And we're the bad guys?

Snaked! I've been hearing a bit about the growing tension between the laydown guys and us. The major complaint seems to be that we grab too many waves, we're out of control and that we can't surf. I submit that the opposite is usually the case- there are far more out of control prone surfers who given a paddling advantage will capitalize on it by taking whatever wave they can get. I'll go on record that guys on longboards are the worst offenders.



Check this guy out- ripped me off not once, not twice but three times- en el stylo del perro! Now I respect my elders but this geezer showed up with three other friends, all from a north county beach (Swami's) the guy paddles right up to the peak and stinks up the inside after he takes off, falls, takes off and falls... all in el stylo del perro!

And we're the bad guys? Give me a break!

Eating and Dreaming: Somewhat Paddlesurf Related

So all this gray just got me in a funk. I felt like eating and sleeping a lot. So I did. Full rack of baby back ribs, hush puppies, corn on the cob and four slice of white bread. Unreal BBQ. If you haven't hit up Lil' Piggy's Bar'B'Q in Coronado yet- you're blowing it. Took two naps today, one after breakfast and one after aforementioned BBQ (would've been easier to say "lunch" right there but whatever- at least I didn't call the BBQ, uberBBQ, I absolutely hate the use of that word).

Not too much surf to mess around with so I started going back through my old posts and eventually found my way to my other blog, BeachSurf. I stumbled across this old post and since it got me thinking about summer, I think it applies here. A little bit of a rant so scroll down to the bikini ending if reading pisses you off.

The Wilson Summer Cruiser:

Here's the next big thing for all you macro biotic, bark eating, global warming warriors out there. It's a hybrid (legs and gravity) surf exploration vehicle. The frame is composed of organically mined, shade harvested titanium. It's been green-manufactured in a carbon-guilt offset buying, Chinese factory. Our comrades overseas assure us that they are using non-under 5 year old (12 ok... you pay now) workers.

The bike features artisan crafted ball bearings and is co-op distributed. Noam Chomsky has described it as vintage, urban, "street" yet intellectual. Obama has called it, "edgy, yet sophisticated". The rig is Al Gore approved and Martha Stewart (pre-big house) designed. Take it with you all over the world! Bike breaks down and will easily fit in the hold of your G9 and most Lear Jets (not the small ones- those petite jets are so gauche).

This bike supports communities, it cannot be purchased at Wal-Mart. Look for it at alternative cyclo-boutiques in gated communities across the nation. We call it Everyman's Bike, ride this baby to the beach and save polar bears and honey bees. Pedal to the shores and stop heat waves in Bakersfield, Santa Cruz forest fires and the proliferation of crop circles! Limited quantities, get one now and make your neighbors hate you with jealousy.

Or, it might just be a nice way to get to the beach... you decide.
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