Saturday, November 17, 2007

Jason Smith's Ancient Code: Or why SUPing Sucks

Did anybody else get a chance to read the "At Random" piece in this month's Surfing Magazine? It's called "Death Before SUP" by Jason Smith. Jason's thesis is that we should follow an "ancient style code... surfers are to... well, keep it simple." The guy offers no support for this proclamation, just that we shouldn't have fun for fun's sake, because even though we think nobody cares, guess what? Jason's got it all figured out here, get ready- this is going to be heavy... here it comes..."Surfing cares". Good job, Jason- that's deep.

Every thesis deserves examination. I wonder how "simple" Jason, the arbiter of all things surfing, keeps it? Since we're following an "ancient code", I think it'd be fair to assess where this guy's at. Let's see, got fins on that board? Tom Blake must've set off all kinds of "ancient code" alarms when he stuck one on- undoubtedly pushing surfing's evolution backward according to ol' Jason. Whoa there, is that one of those hot new quads you're on? Four fins, all glassed in too, right tough guy? That's not one of those new fangled wetsuits you're wearing is it? After all, keeping it simple means bareback or wool sweater doesn't it? Did you just bust an air over that section or was that a floater? Don't you know? They're watching, better just keep it simple dude- point A to point B, nothing complex here. Speaking of your board, let me check that out. That's not a down rail is it? The "code" demands 50/50s on those sticks, right?

In his piece, Jason's got no point. He's just pissed- that's it. Invoking Darwin once again (the guy's a big fan- read his piece), Jason's just another grumbling surfer sitting static instead of adapting to fit the habitat. Pathetically, he's a guy who sees us as the defilers of his personal holy temple of surfing, subsequently passing off his knee jerk reaction as, "Surfing cares". The best part is while Jason sits and worries about defining what real surfing is, we'll just go out and ride some waves; as paddle surfers... or whatever we are.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

closed mind person.let him spread the word that sub. sucks. steve

John Ashley said...

Hey Steve! I agree this sport sucks, and it's dangerous, and its expensive, and it causes impotence, and it's mildly toxic if inhaled, and may cause you to fixate on your paddle shape and.... I agree, better just to leave it alone!

Anonymous said...

You used the line created in PSJ!! Props to you, it works well!

-Chad

John Ashley said...

Hey Chad- I poach a little here, I poach a little there... in the end it comes out alright. See you early on Dia del Pavo?

Anonymous said...

this morning i woke up looked at the quiver of reg.surfboards i was tempted to reg.surf today.gave about 5 min.think. said neg 9 grabbed the gem i was out the door.have not reg surfed in 60 days.maybe i should go to aa like MR BROOKS i need help iam sleeping with my paddle.steve

John Ashley said...

Steve- I understand half of what you write- AND I LIKE IT. But the sleeping with the paddle stuff? That's pushing it man- yes, you may have a problem.

srfnff said...

Repeat after me...We are not going to let (We are not going to let)...an ignorant "Ricardo de Cabeza" ("Ricardo de Cabeza")...spoil our good time (He can't balance and paddle anyway...that's why he's pouting).

John Ashley said...

Yes, you are most certainly correct. I should not let Senor Cabeza get to me. And I will not... because all I can think about now is.... my new board!!!! Ha, Ha, Ha,,, Ha!